PRETTY Fila.
It's Fila, she's a five-month-old baby now. Lovely! Now she's just pretty and plays. But she'll be sly in two years.

KAGEHINATA NI SAKU
I read the book last night. I generally read the fairy tale of Euro before go to sleep. But last night was not, I read KaGeHiNaTa Ni SaKu. It's Japanese, and means... mmm... KaGeHiNaTa is; place where there's sunlight and shade, there're both sides. Or two-faced, double. And Ni is; in this case like a in. And SaKu is bloom. Anyway writer is Japanese comedian, but story was very interesting! Recently I read Haruki Murakami or Maurice Leblanc except fairy tail, so that book was so new.

BURST
I'm bursting to do something. But I don't do anything now. Because I've no idea. And I'm always net surfing to get someting. Then yesterday, I got EIKeN's web site. It's a capacity of English, and for Japanese. So EIKeN, it's like a TOEIC. And then I thought I sit for an examination for it, maybe it'll be fun. But I think TOEIC is better than EIKeN. So I'm going to study for examination. But for what? I know I'm not good at English.

SUNDAY
Today is Sunday, you know, last night I thought "it's saturday night". But I waked up this morning when I thought "it's Monday morning!"... I don't know why. Perhaps I jumped Sunday. But you know, it's not ture.
Anyway, it's the anniversary of my brother's death today. It's sixth anniversary. He dead when I was always missing him and I was sad every day, all day long. Now I look back at that time, I... I don't know how to say... I'm fine.
At that time, woman talked to me "Time tames the strongest grief." but I didn't understand what is mean, and I didn't believe that. But now I understand it, yes, she was right. Bit by bit... Her words was very kind, so I want to say to her again and sincerely "Thank you. I can understand it at last." Because I said to her "thank you" at that time, but it didn't sincerely.

WEIGHT
I noticed what is... part of cloth of hips of my jeans has thinned. Have I grown FAT?

FORELOCK
I was feeling my hair is getting shaggy in front. So I cut it myself. I know I always mistook. But if I want to cut my forelock, I must always do it. So I cut it yesterday. Yeah, of course, I mistook again. I thought I take a picture but now it's 7:30 am. I don't comb my head yet. Ahahahaha... :-P Anyway I look like a child... brrrr.

THEATRICAL COMPANY
Recently I've the person who is so cool. He's Japanese comedian, the actor, and the novelist. Called GeKiDaN HiToRi. It's stage name, means; theatrical company alone (maybe...kikiki) He's not handsome, and not my type. But I watched drama (he was performing) when I was fall in love with him! I didn't think I never fall in love with him, because as I said, he's really not handsome. But his performance was very cool! So I often cheacked him on the TV recently. Kikiki.

MILK TOOTH
This picture is Fila's milk tooth. Maybe it grow Fila's permanent teeth to replace her milk teeth now. So it's on the floor, on the bed, and on the chair... everywehere. Sometimes I got hurt for it. Even so, what's her mechanism? I check Fila's teeth when I brush her teeth. But I don't know which is next.
Anyway I hope Fila doesn't hurt for it.

MAKEUP
I don't want to make up myself. Because it's a troublesome for me. And I think if I made up meself you don't notice about it. My friends, mostly don't notice it. But I think I need makeup, because it's gooooood for me. I was teenager when I made up myself, because it was fun! But I don't know when, till now I meet with friends when I make up myself, but from now on I go out when I make up myself. But I don't to use fondation.
Anyway I'll go out today and make up myself, because I have to go to the doctor of my leg. I hurt my leg last week. But now it's fine. I can to walk very well.
I'll meet with friend tomorrow, so I'll make up myself. What do you think about it? Is it good?

OH!
I've not updated the diary of English version for one week. Because I suspect... ah... I don't know how to say. Anyway I'll be write.
By the way, I listen to the radio every morning, and I find good some songs sometimes. Yesterday I got it, "You give me something", do you know this song? It's from US, his name is James Morrison, not jazz man. DJ said "He's 22 years old and from US." 22! His voice is sexy like a Joe. Joe is singer of R&B, Soul. His voice is too sexy, I like it too. I'll buy James Morrison's CD soon.

AUTUMN
It's the cold with the smell of Autumn this morning. I like this season. I kiss with Fila when there's some static electricity and I feel painful a little bit. And I've a good appetite this season, so I have to control... But I like this season very much. Best season.

270
I went to the doctor's heart yesterday. The result of this check was bad, too bad. Because BNP was 270. If you're ordinary person, your BNP is 20 from 0. Last time, my BNP was 130 in this July. But this time... I don't want to believe that. I felt my condition was good recently, but it's not true. I heard about it when got sad and angry. Anyway the level of the medical science of Japane is high. So... I don't know how to say... Anyway I'll do my best.

COOKING
I cooked 'this', it's OiNaRiSaN. Do you know it? It's japanese dish, like a SuShi. This recipe is: Deep-fried bean curd(ABuRaAGe) boiled with sugar, the soy sauce, soup, and sake. And next, vinegar and sugar mixed, and put and mixed with rice. And deep-fried bean curd put with the rice. That's all. It's simple. But this time, not only rice. I mixed with rice, carrot, breast meat of a chicken. It's delicious more than simple. Try it!

MERMAID
I bought DVD of The Little Mermaid recently. I love Walt Disney animated cartoon. But the story is almost not good. You know, the original story is sad or fearful. It means, about Mermaid, this ending is sad, because Mermaid broken-herted and she died. About Snow White, she had stepmother put on shoes of very hot iron and dancing until die. It's awful. And about Sleeping Beauty, original story is; mother of prince, Aurora's stepmother is cannibal and alive, and she wanted to eat Aurora and her children. And about Cinderella, her sister-in-law, you know they wanted to put that shoes and they're plane of their foots for it... Brüder Grimm and Hans Christian Andersen, their story is not for child. Anyway I like the original story very much.
I talked with frirend about it when I remember about board game. Maybe I bought it 10 years ago. But I don't know why. I mean, that board game is Alice in Wonderland, it's not problem because I like this story, but why is it German virsion? I know, that story written by Lewis Carroll, he's English man. I don't know why is it German virsion and did I buy it? I want to meet and ask about it in my teens. I guess, she has the strenge answer. Kikiki

TAIL
Fila's the tail is getting short recently. I mean, the tail is not getting short, but bristle on the tip of the tail has shortened. Why? I don't know why, is she okay? I've never seen she chewing her bristle on the tip of the tail and she play with it. Stress? Mmm... Should I take her the veterinary clinic?

MEMORY
My memory is bad, I ofen forget various things.
I started to play PC since 6 years, but my skill is only touch-typing. You know I'm making my web site, so I understand about soft of web site, it's Dreamweaver. I renewaled this web site today, but I use this soft a long time ago, so I forgot a lot of things... Mmmmmm... My memory is in decline...

NOW IS GOOD
I got message from friends last night, she said "I got merried yesterday". It's a good news. Her married is second time. Second! It's okay if second time. But I don't believe her, because her first married was toooooo bad when she got tired toooooo much. But she got married again... Is married good? I want to think it's good, but I didn't meet lovers for married. I suspect my ideal is too hight. Anyway I wish her happy life.

NEGATIVISM
Sometimes I'm negative. You know, I wrote about old meeting in this diary, it was fun, I had enjoy it, but I'm still tired now. My heart is not good. I knew if I go out, I get tired. But this time is tired more than another days.
I had enjoying every day before 10 years ago. But now everything makes me tired. Ughhhhhhh. I don't think now is good, but I don't know what should I do?
I've a dream, and I'm lerning English and Italian for my dream. But I've no money. Money, if I've no money, I should work. But it's hard to me and I didn't try it this year. But actually I'm finding job now. But I'm handicapped person, have heart disease, I want job when it's obstacle... I know, when nothing is sure, everything is possible. I must change for my future.
Dante Alighieri said "There is no greater grief than to remember days of joy when misery is at hand" I think so, but it's like me. Okay, I try.

DORAMA
I'm watching dorama of NHK(is japanese program) every morning expect Sunday. It's not interesting, but I'm watching it in recent years. Why? I don't know why. Anyway, this dorama's heroine is always not cute. I mean, it's not my type. Do you know Aoi Miyazaki? http://www.nhk.or.jp/drama/haruka/? They're not cute. But this time, heroine is bad. Too bad. Because she's old and not cute. I don't know who she is. Actually I'll watch this dorama every day.

OLD MEETING
I went to the reunion last night. It was... I don't know how to say... Mmmm.... Reunion, this space was queer. There was my present and past. I felt that it was fun when I went to school, and now development. Friend grew up, and had succeeded. It was very good, but I felt sad a little bit. Actually I don't know how to say about reunion, but that reunion was brilliant. It was good time. Kikiki. Thanks friends!